6 Things to Do After a Negative Pregnancy Test

There's an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda is diagnosed with a lazy ovary. Seemingly very offended, she protests that her ovaries went to an Ivy League school: I'm a biological underachiever, and it's ironic because that ovary went to Harvard. Seeing the show as a young twenty-something, this didn't make any sense to me, but now that I've (twice) gone through my own fertility issues, I completely understand.

My ovaries aren't lazy - they straight up don't work without medical intervention. And while they didn't go to Harvard, my ovaries did graduate with honors and went on to get a Masters degree - all this to say, as a person, I know and value hard work. I'll put in all the extra hours to make sure whatever I'm working on is a success. But infertility isn't something you can test out of. It's frustrating to have an issue that's your fault, but that you can't fix on your own or really do anything about (besides going forth with fertility treatments and hoping for the best). 

I actually know almost as many women who have gone through some sort of fertility treatment as women who have conceived naturally with no issues. Because of that, I wanted to share my thoughts on marching through infertility. Wherever you are in your journey with infertility, you no doubt have experienced a negative test. And unfortunately, we all may see one again (hopefully not). In anticipation of a(nother) negative test, I gear up with my list of things to look forward to that can't be done if I see those two little lines. Do I want a positive test? Well, obviously. I wouldn't be taking a fertility drug that lists "weight gain" as a side-effect, makes me puff up like a marshmallow and puts me through bouts of crying where I wail so loud and high pitched that I set off the doorbell (true story) if I didn't really want a baby. So, after your moment of grieving, turn to these things to do:

1. Book a Hydrafacial
I love a Hydrafacial - they make you look glowy and youthful and at least ten years younger. You basically have to sign your life away before getting one, promising to stay out of the sun and assuring the aesthetician that you're not pregnant. Calling our local spa to make an appointment was literally the first thing I did after our latest negative test. 

2. Open an expensive bottle of wine
Because, why not? You've most likely been abstaining the past couple weeks in anticipation of a positive test, so you can totally justify. 

3. Go out to sushi
It's a no-no when you're pregnant, as are runny eggs and rare steaks. Eat up!

4. Pick up some flowers
Yes, you can do that when you're pregnant as well, but flowers always help. I'm partial to the $4 bundles at Publix. 

5. Whiten your teeth
It's unknown if this is a safe thing to do while pregnant, so do it now! You'll need it if that expensive bottle of wine was a red.

6. Take a yoga class
Yoga just helps everything, period. Pre-natal yoga was my choice exercise while preggers, so look for a studio that offers those classes as well, because here's hoping✨