Preface:
We welcomed Parker Campbell Klein into the world at 5:01 pm
on March 18th after 15 hours of laboring naturally, without an epidural or any pain meds. I absolutely,
100% could not have done it without my amazingly wonderful husband, life
partner and labor coach. We both went into pregnancy with the same mindset that
the body was designed for birth, that women have been delivering naturally for
thousands of years, and that we would want as little medical intervention as
possible for baby’s delivery. Of course we also realized that medical advances
are what have made labor safer for babies and mamas over the years, so at the
same time we wanted to be in a hospital in case any contingencies did arise. I
knew I would have to step it up with preparing pain coping techniques, so I
practiced prenatal yoga throughout pregnancy, did visualizations and took
birthing classes with Max. By the end of pregnancy I was feeling prepared and a
little bit bring it on, though at the
same time nervous about the whole uncertainty of labor…
Parker’s
Birth Story:
Max awoke at 2:45am on March 18th to the sound of
my shuffling slippers. I was 39 weeks and one day pregnant, standing in the kitchen grasping cheddar cheese, crackers,
and a knife, my attempt at a midnight snack. I had been timing contractions
since 2am when I finally realized I couldn’t sleep and would instead get some
food. The contractions were coming ten minutes apart, but to me it was nothing
new – I had been losing sleep over contractions for the past week, though they
had never before brought me out of bed. Max gave me a kiss, instructed me to be
careful with the cheese knife I was wielding, and headed back to our bedroom.
Max lasted maybe fifteen minutes in bed before he was back
by my side, claiming he knew it would be a no-sleep night. He must have subconsciously
known that this was it. I, on the
other hand, was blissfully oblivious. I remember walking around the den, the
dining room and the kitchen island, reminding my husband that walking is
supposed to stop false labor. It just didn’t register with me that, since the
contractions weren’t stopping, this
wasn’t false labor.
Max took over timing duties (which we did on an iPhone app, thank
you technology) and followed me around as I employed all the positions for
laboring I could remember – sitting on my birth ball, leaning over the bed,
hanging off of Max… I knew from our Birth Journey class that breathing was my
strongest pain coping technique, so I concentrating on bringing all my
awareness into my breath and breathing in and out positive messages (which I
had practiced over the past nine months during prenatal yoga). Max put on my
“Mande Music” play list that contained my favorite mellow music on all the
house speakers so I could hear it from any room; it was delightful!
Max continued on timing duty, though I wasn’t the best at
recognizing the contractions. He would actually look at me and say “I’m
starting the timer you’re having one” before I even knew one was starting! Looking
back, we realized we also missed some, which threw off the timing. If they
weren’t especially intense or painful, I thought they shouldn’t count. Because
we didn’t time those ones, it looked like contractions were sporadic, coming
every fifteen minutes, then seven, then fifteen. In reality, they were pretty
consistent coming ten minutes apart then down to seven.
Around 4:30am I announced that I wanted to labor in the tub,
so Max drew me a nice bubble bath. At that point the
contractions jumped way close together, maybe every three minutes. I got a
little anxious, thinking we might have to make a speedy trip to the hospital,
so I jumped from the tub to the shower and decided to get ready for the day,
even though it was still dark outside.
The contractions slowed a bit again, and Max assured me we
had plenty of time at home before we needed to head to the hospital. I
continued to labor and Max continued to be amazing. He knew exactly what to say
to help me, giving me lots of positive encouragement in a nice calm voice. He
would tell me that I was strong, and doing a great job.
At 6:00am, Max texted both of our moms (though I didn’t know
this at the time). He had already emailed into work that he wouldn’t be coming
in (which I was also unaware of). Our moms were planning on flying in later in
the week, and we had planned for them both to be at the birth of baby. Max said
he wasn’t making any promises, but it looked like baby might come today. That was enough for both moms, who hurried to
jump on the first flights to Phoenix that they could.
Sunrise happened during a contraction; I remember our den
being dark, then all of a sudden (many tens of minutes later to the outside
world) the room was filled with light. We moved to our bedroom and tried lying
down in bed for to rest, but it didn’t last long and I realized I was a bit
hungry. Max gave me a banana and fixed bowls of cheerios for us. We sat at the
kitchen counter munching away, believing that, possibly, baby would be born today!
Max fielded some phone calls from family members and work.
It was surreal to hear him talking about me “Oh yeah, she’s doing great. Oh!
She’s having a contraction. Yes, right now, she’s leaning over the couch.”
Around 10:30 I realized I had one last chance to get food in
me before heading to the hospital where it would be ice chips only. I had heard
that your appetite goes away during labor, but being nine months preggers I was
used to eating a ton throughout the day so I decided to eat one more time. I
heated up the steak and cauliflower puree I had made the night before. Max sat
with me while I munched on it and finished what I couldn’t eat.
Finally, it was time to head to the hospital! I sat,
bouncing on my birth ball, in the hallway as Max packed up Pepper with our
hospital bags and pillows. Around 11:00am he announced that everything was
packed, Pepper was locked, and he realized the car clicker had run out of
battery power. All of our things (including the backup keys and clicker to
Pepper) were inside the SUV, and he couldn’t get in! Internally I was thinking:
This could be bad, this could be sooo bad.
Luckily, he was able to get the clicker to work to unlock one door. He crawled
through to the back and retrieved the backup keys, whew! By 11:15am we were
off. It was so odd leaving, with so much uncertainty lying ahead!
The hospital where we would deliver was a 15 minute drive
away. I had left a CD of visualizations in the SUV for the drive over, so I
popped it in as we were leaving the driveway. Max had already thought the
visualizations were cheesy so he (ever so lovingly) poked fun at them without
being too funny. We discovered
earlier in the day that, if he told jokes that were mildly humorous during
contractions it helped distract me. However, if he was so funny that I laughed
out loud, it made the contractions hurt even worse. Between Max’s joking, and
actually following the visualizations, the car ride (and the four contractions
I went through) seemed to go by rather quickly. Earlier in the morning when the
contractions got intense, I instinctively began closing my eyes during them.
Max later said it was some sort of sensory overload thing – that the pain was
so intense the darkness helped. I would continue to close my eyes during most
contractions for the rest of labor. Since I had my eyes shut during
contractions on the drive to the hospital, I only remember snippets: leaving
our housing subdivision, waiting at the stoplight at Pima Road, the onramp to
the 101, the stoplight at Shea… and then, we were there!
We pulled into the hospital and were very lucky to see
someone leaving so we snagged their parking spot. The hospital is usually
hopping which makes finding parking difficult. Even the valet line was backed
up, so we were super fortunate to be able to just park. Of course, we were in
the middle of the lot, and a ways away from the entrance to the hospital. We
got out and Max held my purse and my arm as we made our way through the lot. I
was definitely in pain and going slowly (we didn’t know at the time, but I was
dilated to 5cm!). We were stopped by a hospital worker in a golf cart asking if
we wanted a ride. For me, it seemed easier just to walk so I declined. We were
asked again when we made it closer to the hospital, and were offered a wheel
chair as well, but for some reason I just wanted to keep walking! I remember
looking at the front of the hospital and wanting one of those cute photos
standing in front with my belly, however right about then I had a contraction
and all I wanted to do was get in!
Max and I rode the elevator to the second floor and made our
way to the desk under the Family Birthing
Center sign around 11:30am. Max was so sweet to do all the talking for me.
They had my paperwork right at the top, and it was just a couple minutes before
they called me into a triage room.
The triage rooms were private with adjoining bathrooms. I
got dressed in my hospital gown and waited (and waited) to be checked. It turns
out that it was a busy day in labor and delivery, and they were full. When a nurse did come and check on
me around noon, she announced that I was 5cm, 100% effaced and baby was at 0
station. I was elated! My fears of being turned away for not really being in
labor disappeared – I was halfway there! At that instant, I knew that I could
do it and knew I wouldn’t need an epidural or any pain meds. The nurse said I
would be able to walk around which made me even happier (laying down on the bed
hooked up to the monitors made enduring the contractions much harder than when
I got to be up and changing positions).
The nurse left to phone my doctor, and returned with the
news that my doctor did not want me
to walk around (insert sad face here). I needed four hours of ampicillin to
clear the Strep B bacteria in my intestines to make delivery safe for baby. My
doctor was afraid that walking around would speed up labor, and in fact I
needed to slow it down to make sure I didn’t deliver before the four hours were
up. The nurse even pushed an epidural, saying that it would slow down labor,
which was what I needed. I declined the epidural and listened to her talk about
how the needle is not that bad, and that getting the epidural really wasn’t
painful. I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t the pain of getting one that was
stopping me, especially since I was pretty sure that laboring through
contractions was going to be much more painful than getting the pre-shot that
numbs the back before the epidural catheter is inserted. But I didn’t, and just
listened to her, and even signed the waiver allowing for an epidural later if
needed, since I could tell she was very skeptical that I would be able to
deliver without it.
At that point I was admitted, and really should have been
moved to a labor and delivery room but they were all full! So we stayed in
triage. I was finally administered my IV and ampicillin at 1pm. I asked Max to
tell me a story as the nurse worked on the IV. He told me the sweetest story of
our morning, and how baby was going to come today! I had been sitting up to
help cope with the contractions, and the nurse informed me that I really had to
lay back so the fetal monitor worked correctly. Max said this was the one time
during labor that I got a bit cranky. Apparently I flailed my arms after the
nurse had left and said that I didn’t like being hooked up to the IV or having
to lay down. In my defense, laying down really did make coping with the
contractions so much harder, and who would want to be hooked up to an IV? I
discovered though, that going to the restroom did allow me to stand up and walk
so I did this a few times (with Max there to unhook the monitors and move the
IV stand for me – best husband/labor coach ever!).
A bit after 2pm, our moms walked into the triage room! Max
had arranged for a car to pick them up at the airport and take them to the
hospital. We were so incredibly happy that they were able to make it in time. I
said hello and then heard Max saying “Oh, she’s having a contraction!” We
visited with our moms, and I remember getting sad that I was not in an actual
room and did not have ice chips! So Max’s mom went out to get some from the
galley and returned with a nice cup of them (which made me twelve kinds of
happy), and the news that my room was
ready and that we were just waiting on the nurse!
Sometime after 3pm my new nurse came in and said it was time
to move to my room! I remember it seemed to happen so quickly. We had to make
our way down the hall and the nurse moved my IV stand while Max brought all of
our things. We didn’t know at the time but I was already entering the
“transition” stage of labor, where contractions are intense and close together.
The nurse kept asking if I wanted to stop walking and take a break, but I
wanted to power through!
Once in the labor and delivery room, the contractions
stepped up and were so much closer together. My new nurse gave me the go-ahead
to stand up while laboring, which made me so very happy! I began relying a lot
on standing and literally hanging off my husband to work through the
contractions. During one especially intense contraction, I heard my mom tell
Max’s mom “look at his arm!” Apparently, I had begun griping Max’s arm to cope
with the pain, so much that it was turning white, oops! Luckily he didn’t
complain.
My new nurse checked me to give an update to my doctor and I
was 8-9 centimeters. She and another nurse who was in the room seemed very surprised I was this far along and
started congratulating me on not having any pain meds, saying “You did it!” I
remember saying “Well, I haven’t done it yet!” They replied that I was almost
there and it was going to happen. They relayed the news to my doctor, who was
stuck in rush hour traffic.
I continued laboring and at some point Max’s coaching and
words were needed to help me with my
breathing. Up until that point, I could do my yoga breathing on my own, but the
pain became so intense that it made it hard to concentrate without his
coaching. My sweet mom chimed in with very stern words to breathe, breathe!! She later told me that she was afraid that I was
going to pass out. At the time, though, I just could not take any harsh
coaching. Maybe it’s the first grade teacher in me, but any motivation that is
not calm or reassuring just makes me upset. I would totally cry if I ever tried
to do one of those Jillian Michaels workout DVDs where she yells and screams
that you can do better. During one contraction I actually shook my finger at my
mom, my way of saying this is not helping,
as I couldn’t speak.
The contractions at this point were coming every couple
minutes, and, as my eyes were closed during them, I had very little time with
them open! I kept saying over and over that I was sooo hot, so my mom and Max
cooled me down with the refrigerated aromatherapy cloths I had brought
(lavender and peppermint!). I remember my mom standing right by my side and keeping them coming - it was sooo helpful! I had made the cloths ahead of time by dipping
washcloths in water and aromatherapy oil, then rolling them and wrapping them in
saran wrap like you would find at a spa. I didn’t test them out, though, and
apparently I used way too much oil as
the scent was super, super strong!
I had my “bloody show” and almost immediately began feeling
the urge to push. I was told not to
push, and given instructions about how to try to hold it off. I hadn’t yet
received the four hours of ampicillin and hospital policy has all newborns
exposed to Strep B checked out and brought to the NICU. We of course did not
want this to happen, and wanted a safe delivery for baby. So, I did what I was
told and tried my best, but with each new contraction I could feel the pushing
and could feel baby moving down! I stopped standing and walking and had to just
lay back in the bed to deal with the pain. My doctor arrived and kept telling
me to hold out just a few more minutes. Max told me later that my doctor, two separate times, told me “just five
more minutes!”
I was enduring one of the “pushing” contractions when, all
of a sudden, there was a huge gush of water, similar to a huge water balloon
popping. Yes, it was my water breaking! I had labored all that time and had
pretty much forgotten that it hadn’t ruptured yet. Max was by my side (as he
was for the entire day) and luckily he has quick reflexes and was able to side
step the explosion and stay clear of amniotic fluid! My water literally shot
off the end of the bed and onto the floor, several feet away! My doctor walked in shortly after and I remember telling
her that my water breaking hurt! I was so disappointed, as I had been told this
was the one thing that didn’t hurt.
She explained that it happened during a contraction, and baby’s head was suddenly
pushed forcefully down after the water broke so those were the causes of the pain
(not the actual rupture of membranes).
Unbeknownst to me, there was a whole team of medical staff
prepping and gathering right outside the door, because I was about to be given
the okay to push. My doctor checked me and said that I was ready to go! I
endured maybe one more contraction, and then with the blink of an eye, the room
was full, baby gear was brought in, the end of my bed disappeared and my doctor
said that I could push. It all seemed to happen so quickly!
Max was on my left and my nurse showed up on my right. I
always thought I would be a good “pusher” but it turns out I was lousy at
following directions! Perhaps it had something to do with the immense amount of
pain I was in, or that my eyes were closed and I wasn’t fully paying attention
to what everyone was telling me. I was supposed to be holding my legs a certain
way, pushing my chin to my chest and curling forward. Instead, I was arching my
back, something your body naturally does to cope with the pain, but something
that makes pushing less productive. Max and my nurse helped by holding my legs
in place, and at one point my nurse said I had to open my eyes to look at her
and listen (I think I was a better direction-follower after that!). Max was
watching and kept saying over and over how amazing it was. The pain, however,
was hands-down the worst of my life, but I kept trying my best to follow along
and push when I was told. Max let me know that he could see baby had a head of
hair, which was absolutely surreal to know something like this before baby was
actually born. I definitely let out a few screams from the pain, which I hadn’t
done the entire day. (Max had actually commented earlier that I hadn’t so much
as said a bad word). My doctor started being very firm with her coaching about
the pushing, saying I had to get it
done. I didn’t know at the time, but baby had passed meconium while I was
pushing, which sometimes means baby is in distress. Finally, my doctor said
that it was the “ring of fire”, that I had to just push through it and that I
was almost there.
I don’t remember everything Max said, but I remember that he
seemed in absolute awe of what was happening, so happy and excited, and that he
kept talking to me while I was pushing. The entire process seemed to go by in a
minute, but I actually pushed for about ten. Finally, baby’s head was out and
my husband told me to open my eyes and look down! One more push and, at 5:01pm,
our sweet baby was born! My doctor said “Well dad, what is it?” and Max
announced “It’s a boy!” He later told me that he checked three times to make
sure. Seeing that I was not even processing what was going on, he put his beaming
and teary-eyed face close up to mine and said “We have a son!”
I looked down and could see our baby boy was blue, which in
my dazed state seemed normal. I also didn’t think twice about him not crying,
but I later found out that both our moms were worried. It turns out that baby
had a knotted umbilical cord which must have tightened during the pushing
process. Luckily, once I started pushing, he was delivered very quickly! His
one-minute Apgar score was an 8 (and later his five-minute would be a 9), so
all was well. My doctor unknotted the cord as they roughed baby up on my
stomach and we heard his sweet cry. They put him right on my chest and it was
the most amazing and unbelievable moment! I was completely in shock and at the
same time overjoyed. My doctor asked if he had a name and I looked at Max and
said “Parker” – the first time our little boy heard his name!
Max then cut
Parker’s umbilical cord, and soon after the nurses took him over to get cleaned
up and to be given his newborn shots. Max stayed right by him and rubbed his
cheek, which stopped his crying. Parker weighed in at 7 pounds, 4.9 ounces and
measured 20.75 inches long.
They wrapped Parker in a blanket and brought him
over to me. I just could not believe that my husband and I made him. He was absolutely perfect, and absolutely the most precious being I had ever seen.
We were instantly so in love with Parker. We just kept saying over and over that we couldn't believe he was ours; we couldn't believe that we got to keep him.
